031: Communication in Conflict Resolution

Podcast
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What You'll Discover in this Episode:

There is no easy way to deal with conflict. Most people in the world try to avoid conflict as much as possible while there are others that love nothing more than creating conflict. Within Christian circles, it is difficult to sometimes deal with our conflicts. Do we say what is really on our mind? Do we just say nothing and hope it goes away? Do we just speak the truth harshly because it needs to be said? If someone tells us to let it go, do we let it go?

Communication is necessary and biblical. Do not allow your emotions to control your actions. Look to the Word and find out how the Word tells you to deal with the conflict you find yourself in. If you refuse to speak you might be sinning. If you know the biblical way you are supposed to handle the situation but choose to remain silent, you can find yourself grieving the Holy Spirit. There needs to be discernment and prayer, in order to use words that will help the situation and not cause further destruction.

The ultimate response that we should communicate is one of love. Love is not rude and it does not ignore, but it gives an appropriate answer. Love communicates the truth even when it may "hurt" the individual. Love delivers what sometimes needs to be said and not necessarily what they want to hear. It is not a sin to hurt someone's feelings if the objective is to help them grow in their spiritual walk. Communicating a difficult truth can cause the individual to see the wrongdoing and give them the opportunity to repent.

Have you ever found yourself in a position where an authority figure is acting ungodly, but you are afraid to correct them because they are the authority figure? Just because they are an authority figure it does not make them immune from applying biblical knowledge in their own life. In fact, the authority figure should be welcoming of any corrective action that might need to take place in their life because of their position of authority. If the subordinate shakes it off and conceals the proper correction they are sinning by failing to speak the truth.

It is not a good idea to tell someone what they want to hear, no matter how tempting it may be to just tell them what they want to hear. Communicating the truth in all situations is what Scripture calls us to do. Even if you are told that your opinion is not needed or you are told to be quite. God does not give anyone absolute authority. Christians must speak biblical truth even when they are told to remain silent. There may be times when it is a biblical response to convey that you are angry, as long as that anger is righteous and is given through biblical means of communication.

In conclusion, there is no easy way to communicate. One must look at the Scriptures to guide and instruct their communication. Don't allow yourself to use world wisdom, worldly wisdom is foolish and does not communicate the truth that God has equipped all believers with. In this episode Pastor Jeff gives you the necessary tools from Scripture in order to effectively communicate in conflict resolution.

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Highlights from Pastor Jeff

If you say nothing, you could be sinning. There are times when we must speak up using the Bible as our guide.
Scripture is not rude, but that doesn't mean that you remain silent and say nothing. Search the Word and find the appropriate biblical answer.
When speaking in love, we must remember that we need to express the truth even it stings a little. You are showing love by sharing the truth.
Those who are in a position of authority may need to be corrected by those who are not in authority. Those who are not in a position of authority have a responsibility to communicate with those that are. Those who are in authority need to request correction from their subordinates.
Do not just give an answer that the other person wants to hear. There may be times when you need to give a completely different answer than they are looking for.
If you find yourself in a position where your opinion is not wanted, you may need to speak up to share the truth of God's Word. The proper response that is given needs to be the truth from God's Word.
It is not always wrong to share your anger with someone. Your anger must be righteous and not sinful and must be communicated biblically.

Resources:

Hebrews 3:13 but exhort one another daily, while it is called “Today,” lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.
Hebrews 12:14 Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:
James 5:16 Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.
2 Corinthians 2:4 For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you, with many tears, not that you should be grieved, but that you might know the love which I have so abundantly for you.
2 Corinthians 6:11-13 O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. Now in return for the same (I speak as to children), you also be open.
Proverbs 26:4-5 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
Lest you also be like him.
Answer a fool according to his folly,
Lest he be wise in his own eyes.
Acts 4:18-20 So they called them and commanded them not to speak at all nor teach in the name of Jesus.But Peter and John answered and said to them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge. For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.”
Ecclesiastes 3:8 A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.

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