Assign a 'primary' menu

001: Resolving Conflict God’s Way (An Introduction)

Greetings! Welcome to The Biblical Counseling Podcast. 

Conflicts are like forest fires. James says, "...The tongue is a flame of fire...It can set your whole life on fire..."  If you address them when they are still small, you can save yourself much grief. At the same time, many conflicts appear out of control, as desires erupt into massive confrontations. What is it that most often prevents conflicts from being resolved? 


In this first episode of the Biblical Counseling Podcast, Pastor Jeff Christianson and his wife, Jennie Christianson, introduce the podcast’s first series on conflict resolution. Pastor Jeff and Jennie want to train biblical counselors and biblical peacemakers. Biblical counselors are counselors who counsel’s God’s way with God’s Word. Pastor Jeff hopes to provide listeners around the country and the world with a weekly resource for training and equipping in biblical counseling. 


In this episode, Pastor Jeff and Jennie address the first prerequisite to resolving conflict in interpersonal relationships. The first prerequisite for conflict resolution is humility. Humility is often connected with pride. Pride is the one sin, above all others, that hinders our ability to resolve conflicts with others. Proverbs 13:10 says, "Pride leads to conflict..." What is the opposite of pride? Humility. Paul says, "I beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle." Do you know that there are prerequisites to resolving conflict God's way? Would you like to know what they are? Join me in this episode to discover the answers.

In this series, we will see four main character qualities which help to prevent conflict:

  • Walking in Humility
  • Learn Gentleness
  • Forgiveness
  • Patience

What You'll Discover in this Episode:

  • The more we walk in the Lord, the easier the conflicts will become and the quicker they will be resolved.
  • Humble people have a realistic expectation of themselves and are willing to extend grace to others because they’ve been given grace.
  • The book of Job is a great example of Humility. 
  • No matter what comes your way, trust in the Lord.
  • The more we are content, it causes less conflict in our lives.


Subscribe and Download

Listen on the go! We cover important issues of the day and how Biblical counseling applies to them. Follow the Biblical Counseling Podcast using your favorite app:

Apple Podcast
Google Podcast
Listen to Stitcher
  • Yvonne Howe says:

    Ephesians 4:1-3 urges me and instructs me how to live a life worthy of the calling I have received.

    There are times in my life I have not wanted to extend grace to others because of real or imagined offenses. I have not been a minister of peace. The more I understand His amazing grace the more I realize none of this is about me. It is all about who He is and what He has done for me. How can I not feel humbled once again as I ponder His gentleness, forgiveness and patience with me? I am so grateful that He never treats me as I deserve. With His help I want to always extend the same grace to others. The longing of my heart is to bring Him glory.

  • Kristen Greer says:

    Enjoyed this introduction into conflict resolution Gods way. When walking with patients, forgiveness, gentleness, and humility focusing more on the Lord and His word there is more grace and forgiveness. As we receive grace we give grace. Also looking at how pride is the ingredient to quarrels, and staying in humility learning to be gentle heals and guards against pride.

  • Laura Dahne says:

    What a simple yet beautiful explanation of conflict resolution God’s way. I appreciated being reminded that while conflicts can’t be avoided they can be resolved through patience, humility and forgiveness. I especially enjoyed the scriptures that were shared and hearing Pastor Jeff’s wife Jenny speak on the subject.

  • Pauline Howarth says:

    Thank you for this podcast. I just found this and am so thankful for the scripture based truths – I look forward to listening to the remaining ones and taking lots of notes. I am a prodigal who is seeing God’s grace extended in the most exciting and wonderful ways.
    May God bless you both and your ministry.

  • I am grateful for the dialogue between Pastor Jeff and Jenny while they talk about walking in humility, learning gentleness, forgiveness and patience. I can relate, being married for 11 years, how all four of these main qualities are practiced each day, and polished to perfection through these trials or temptations that could violate these character qualities if we rely on the self rather than the spirit of the Lord who dwells within us.
    Being involved in ministry we come across many homeless people who do not display any of these qualities, and without having matured, could disrupt and additionally test these characters. Pastor Jeff quotes Ephesians 4:1-3 “therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling which you have been called, with all humility, and gentleness and patience showing forbearance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the spirit of the bond of peace.” If we are not walking in a manner worthy of the calling which we have been called, then we cannot effective in communicating, nor teach by example, because we will be scoffed at and rejected. Something important that I try to remember, is that when someone else is walking without these qualities, their attitude and behavior is not a reflection of how I am interacting with them, but rather, it is the fact that they have not yet accepted Christ, they have not began to take Him in and learn his ways, they have not been filled with the Holy Spirit; since they are lacking in spirit they are lacking in character, which is not a reflection of me. That is my cue that they are ready to be introduced and first must proceed with gentleness and love. My attitude of kindness will prepare them for the Lord’s harvest, and I do not want to spoil it while He is working on their hearts.
    This was a great podcast that allowed me to reflect on what I am doing that is worthy, which is to first walk in humility, and help me to see how I can change or add to my own behavior and interactions; this in turn will help others to have these same qualities and be ready to receive salvation.

    • Yvonne Howe says:

      Kristine, I also enjoyed listening to both Jeff and Jenny speak about conflict resolution. My marriage was the place that this was most tested, and I was the most refined.

  • Seershika Rani Muddana says:

    That was so helpful and I totally agree with the lesson. I strongly believe that humbleness is the key factor to those who believe in Jesus Christ. The Bible says that Jesus has humbled Himself to die on the cross for mankind. James 1:22 says, ‘But be doers of the word and not hearers only.” Thank you for your great work in equipping fellow believers. May God so be with you.

    • jeffchristianson says:

      Seershika! Thanks for checking in. I am glad that you find these episodes helpful 🙂

      I agree, the humility of Jesus is key.


  • Douglas Sarchet says:

    Please provide a transcript of the podcast so that the salient points can be learned and practiced and perhaps included in our notebooks.

    • I agree that it would be nice to have a transcript, and I gave you a thumbs-up vote in support; but I decided to take notes because it helps me to reflect on what I am hearing, and solidify it by relating what I am writing to my own experiences. I am making my own transcript of the points being made by each speaker turn-for-turn, and tearing it out of my notebook, creating a binder of each podcast that I listen to. I know it takes a little more time, but all good things take time 🙂 Maybe this could help you too?

      • jeffchristianson says:

        Hey Krisiti! Thanks for writing in and say hello! Let me ask, are you offering to type out the notes and transcribe these podcasts? That would be awesome! Many would be blessed and ministered to by you efforts. Let’s start with number and work your way through episode #90. Let me know! Jeff

  • >