Open-Handed vs Closed-Handed Issues
In this week’s episode of the Biblical Counseling Podcast, Jennie and Jeff Christianson continue laying the foundation for conflict resolution through exploring necessary heart prerequisites. In this episode, they discuss the prerequisite of forbearance. Biblical Counselors cultivate within themselves and their counselees the virtue of forbearance. Forbearance refers to God’s command to look to the interests of others (Phil 2:4), to bear one another’s burdens (Gal 6:2), and to bear with one another in love (Eph 4:2). Even Jesus practiced forbearance as he lamented the sin in the world and the lack of faith with his disciples (Luke 9:41).
Christians can cultivate forbearance by learning to delineate between open-hand and closed-hand issues. Open-hand issues are non-sin issues; issues which have not been clearly prohibited or commanded in Scripture. On these issues, God calls Christians to hold this category with an open hand, always willing to forgo their preferences for the good of others. Closed-hand issues are issues of clear sin or matters of conscience. Christians must not disregard their consciences or clear commands from God’s Word. Clearly differentiating between open-hand and closed-hand issues reflects Christian maturity (Heb 5:14) and helps Christians defend against conflict. When Christians approach a conflict over an open-hand issue, they must ask themselves this question: “is this issue worth having a conflict over?” While Christians must obey God on closed-hand issues, they must also be willing to defer on open-handed issues.
Here is a list of helpful questions for discerning your maturity in forbearance:
- When others perform actions in a way different from “the best way” (in my eyes), do I criticize them verbally or mentally?
- When people hold different opinions on things not clearly differentiated in Scripture, do I judge or condemn them?
- When someone has a different opinion than me, do I immediately move to convince the other person to my side?
- When discussing political issues, do I become sinfully angry or say something that I later regret?
- When my desires conflict with my spouse’s desires, do I want to change his/her desires without considering his/her point of view?
- When people around me use annoying mannerisms, do I tolerate them or rebuke/correct them?
- Does my social circle include individuals from different social statuses?
- When I encounter people of different religions, do I angrily write them off as foolish or do I pray for them?
- When I see other parents doing things that I would never allow for my children to do, even when no clear sin is involved, do I view them as poor parents?
Want to learn more? Listen to this podcast to hear Pastor Jeff and Jennie address:
- The need for forbearance in conflict resolution
- How to differentiate between open-hand and close-hand issues
- Questions for assessing your maturity in forbearance
Resources:
What You'll Discover in this Episode:
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And if you’re really loving the show, we’d be super-grateful if you’d also leave a review on iTunes. That’ll help others find this program so they can benefit too. We read every single review too. Good, bad, or indifferent, we’d love to hear what you think.
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I would very much appreciate the list of questions to help with discernment in forbearance as offered in episode 11, Open-Handed vs. Closed Handed Issues. Thank you.