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What You'll Discover in this Episode:
142: Love Communicates
An important part of Biblical Counseling is the topic of conflict resolution. This includes learning about interpersonal communication. As we grow in the Lord, as we are walking with Jesus, we are always learning to be better communicators. You can accelerate that growth by studying and practicing what God teaches about communication. What we are going to learn today is that love communicates.
Words are powerful. The Bible is sufficient and has answers. Conflict is coming and you want to be ready for the next conflict that comes your way (at school, at work, at church, at home)!
We have God’s word as our resource, as our super sufficient authority on the subject. We can learn and practice better communication skills for future conflict. You can become a better "conflict resolver".
Prepare your heart for the conflict that you’re going to face.
We will focus in this session on speaking, but people also communicate to others through facial expressions, demeanor and actions. Our words can be patient and longsuffering, and kind - not words of envy, not boasting before others, not proud arrogant words, not rude words, not selfish words, not language that comes from being provoked, not promoting evil thoughts, etc. Words sourced from a relationship with God.
We want the love of God to grip our heart, our mind, and thereby our words.
This love is God’s love. It flows from the Holy Spirit through the believer. The biblical counselor must continually draw upon the love of God in order to minister to others. This produces change in life. It’s transformative.
God’s Love Changes A Life.
When we are a channel of God’s love, He can flow through us because we are walking in a relationship with Him. We are going to be effective communicators. It is agape love that gives the counselee resources for transformation. When we are walking with Jesus, we are more inclined to speak loving, merciful, gracious words. When a person receives God’s love, change and transformation happens in their life. This is what the biblical counselor has to offer to people.
Communicating Out of Love
- Love listens. A big part of communication is listening well. Proverbs 18:13, Proverbs 18:17
- Love draws out what others have inside. It helps others communicate. Proverbs 20:5, Romans 15:5-7
- Love prays. Love has open communication with God. Ephesians 3:14-20
- Love speaks in spiritual ways. It speaks God’s Word. Colossians 3:16-17
Words are powerful.
Even the meekest of Christians have God’s powerful words. So often Christians can tend to think two falsehoods 1) either their words don’t/can’t make a difference, or 2) that their idle words in day-to-day life with friends and family aren’t important. As Christians, we have the great opportunity to speak God’s Words.
Asking questions helps bring about communication. The godly person asks questions for the right reasons.
- Questions aren’t just to fill up space and overcome uncomfortable silences.
- Questions should not be to selfishly find out information.
- Questions should be out of real concern and love for someone.
Helping people should be out of a real concern and love for somebody. You can’t minister to somebody unless you care about them. When you care about somebody, you’ll wisely use questions to draw out their heart, because it is love. Sometimes all it takes is to stick around a few extra minutes instead of taking someone’s “fine” for an answer when you ask them how they’re doing.
Love communicates and we are growing in it. When we are lovingly involved in people’s life and we genuinely and authentically care, we are going to help people. We are going to help them know Jesus.
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