What You'll Discover in this Episode:

166: Practical Counseling Help

What do I do when I get into the counseling situation? How do I give the right answers? How do I go about that? What guidelines should I keep in mind? How do I get equipped to better counsel?

In this podcast, Pastor Jeff Christianson shares some practical counseling help a biblical counselor can apply to any counseling situation. Listen to the full episode to learn more.


biblical counseling, calvary chapel, conflict, counseling, iabc, jeff christianson

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176: The Holy Spirit’s Guidance

176: The Holy Spirit’s Guidance
  • It’s always good to have practical advice, especially from the Word of God. I like that Pastor Jeff always gives us scripture. Because we should turn to scripture when looking for answers.
    He also reminds us to have the mindset of a counselor. That means to have prayed before we meet with someone. Pray during the meeting, and after the meeting. Listen to what their concerns are. Talk to them about Christ, and if they don’t know Christ as their Savior, bring them to a saving faith in Christ. With the Holy Spirit’s help.

  • Counseling is an outpouring of our personal walk and relationship with Christ. Such an important truth. It sounds like a give in, but it is critical that it is stated explicitly. If we are not earnestly seeking God’s wisdom in our own lives, how can we expect to assist in guiding others to it. If we are not setting up appointments with the Wonderful Counselor for ourselves, how can we set one up for our counselees?

    • Yes and that’s the challenge isn’t it to seek God for his help in order to walk it out myself first. We can pretend in other areas of life, but not with the Lord. And that is wonderful becausec it’s not a performance it’s an outpouring of who He is in our lives.

  • I was reminded that I need to have a walk worthy of the calling. To be that example, to be walking closely with Jesus. Also at the heart of counseling is discipleship and sanctification. Praying continuously and listening well.

  • This is a great reminder for everyday. There is no substitution for being in the word and prayer— in fellowship with God. There are times I allow myself to become so busy with working in the church, that I allow my alone time with the Lord to suffer. It’s during these times that God reminds me that serving Him is good, but it cannot take the place of my devotional time with Him. We need to make sure that we aren’t too busy working for the Lord, that we neglect our time with Him. All of that work is in vain if Christ is not the center of my heart.

    • Angela, thank you for the reminder that being too busy is never good. Especially when we neglect being in God’s Word. I think we all have times like these. But God usually reminds us. Thank you again for sharing.

  • I thought it was very helpful to have the reminder that the counselling situation is an overflow of a walk with Jesus. A life of being in the word and prayer. This is so different – obviously – to secular counselling. I love the fact that Biblical counselling is about declaring truth because it is based in and on the word of God. It’s not about a programme it is about truth! Radically different. But also a great relief. And again that is very helpful to have the reminder that prayer is fundamental. Prayer before, during and after. That it is about listening and honoring a person. And I also really appreciated the reminder that Biblical counselling is about one to one discipleship! Is that person in a relationship with Jesus ? And if they are – how can I help them to grow in that relationship. This simplifies things. Thank you.

    • I agree with you 100 percent! It takes so much pressure off to know that if we are in the word and prayer that the Lord provides the answers and all we have to do is speak His truth. I loved how things were simplified in this podcast.

  • I enjoyed how you Pastor Jeff explained one of the “Nuts and Bolts to counsel was to Listen, just as Jesus does and did. The story in John 4 about the Samaritan woman, the conversation goes back and forth, this compelled me to go back and look at all times in the Bible that HE listened to the situation, questions were asked and responses were made.

    The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert; it was the spring that is beside the road to Shur. 8 And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?”

    “I’m running away from my mistress Sarai,” she answered.

    Then the angel of the Lord told her, “Go back to your mistress and submit to her.” 10 The angel added, “I will increase your descendants so much that they will be too numerous to count.”

    The angel of the Lord also said to her:

    “You are now pregnant
    and you will give birth to a son.
    You shall name him Ishmael,[a]
    for the Lord has heard of your misery.
    He will be a wild donkey of a man;
    his hand will be against everyone
    and everyone’s hand against him,
    and he will live in hostility
    toward all his brothers.”
    She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen[c] the One who sees me.”That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi; it is still there, between Kadesh and Bered.
    So Hagar bore Abram a son, and Abram gave the name Ishmael to the son she had borne. Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore him Ishmael. Genesis 16:7-16

    I bring this part of Scripture up, because essentially Jesus is counseling her, HE heard her and she knows it. This is a beautiful representation of the Lord hearing our cries, giving us instruction and giving us counsel.

    • I love the example of Hagar and Ishmael. In spite of Abraham and Sarah taking matters into their own hands instead of trusting God’s perfect timing; He was faithful to His promise. The blessing over the decedents of Abraham included Ishmael; even though it lead to rival nations of His chosen people. The same is true for us. In spite of our failings, He continues to fulfill His promise of forgiveness and grace, and including us in receiving our share of the inheritance of Heaven.

  • These were indeed helpful guidelines to keep in mind for the counselling session. It is so important to pray before and even during the counseling for there are times when I would feel uncertain as to what to do next, and if you are not careful anxiety can come. It is in that moment that you remember that verse that Pastor Jeff shared from Philippians 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, in the quietness of your heart you silently whisper a prayer for the Holy Spirit’s help, and He truly guides and instructs as Psalm 32: 8 promises. The Holy Spirit truly comes alongside of us in counselling to help us so prayer is indeed helpful to us while we counsel. I also appreciated point # 2 on Listening, not answering a matter before the time, not assuming we know what the counselee will say but taking the time to pay keen attention and allow time to hear the matter before we seek to provide counsel. Very beneficial practical steps to be applied in the counselling situation.

    • I decided to make one note book my notes for all this good information to look to on this Biblical counseling journey. I agree, the guidelines are very helpful when meeting with someone, sometimes we tend to forget the basics of what we should know. Yes, very beneficial counseling steps.

    • I agree Joycelyn and also I like the fact that the pressure is off us. As you say we can be anxious for nothing knowing that the Holy Spirit is the counselor and we are an instrument in his hand.

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